07 January 2012

Esse Quam Videri

This is who I am.

This is where I come from.

I guess in a brief summary, tonight I am home sick. 

I miss Carolina.

I miss home.

As hard as I try, and trust me, I have bee trying for close to two months now, I have been trying to make this feel like home. Superficially, I think I have it accomplished. I have made lots of friends, I am trying to become active in my school activities, and I get to go to the Temple every week. For all useful purposes, I am settled and have made this my home.

But it just doesn't feel like it. Maybe this is a symptom of living in one place for 16 years, and having a life plan that had been established my entire life suddenly uprooted. I was pretty darn sure I knew what I wanted my life to look like, and this little change made a bit of a bump in the road. 

I love Carolina. I love the people. I love the southern hospitality, and the fact that everyone hugged each other as an exchange of Hello or Goodbye. I miss being alone in my faith. As wonderful as it is to be surrounded by tons of LDS kids, it just doesn't feel right. I don't know if that makes sense, but to me it is crystal clear. 

I miss diversity. I miss having culturally diverse friends and neighbors. I miss curvy roads, and hills and trees. Oh how I miss forests. I miss the symphony, and traveling downtown on occasions. I miss being able to walk through breezeways in between classes, and having a school with out holes in the ceilings. I miss the accents. Every time I say the word 'Carolina' aloud, I become aware how subconsciously I have put a southern accent on it. I miss religious diversity, especially Moravians.

I miss toga night, and cheerwine. I miss my old library, and the creek down the street from my house. I miss Food Lions and YMCA's. I miss having a beach just a few hours away, and the blue ridge parkway just a few hours the other way. I miss the color green, as it appeared in all of its natural surroundings. I miss Club C, and hanging out with all the other neighbors. I miss my old Ward, especial the youth. 

Obviously I miss my friends. More than almost anything actually. I don't miss humidity, which is such a blessing here not to have. I do miss having public 'soft' water, so that taking a shower didn't have to be a 5 minute affair for the sake of the soap not washing off your body. I miss Japanese, and all the fun we had with our CC buddies. I miss familiarity, and knowing my way around the city back and forth. I miss not having to use the grid system, and basing streets off of past knowledge. 

May I digress,

Things I love about Utah,

This past Friday, I got to do Baptisms for the Dead in the Salt Lake Temple.

Honestly, I never thought I would ever go to the Salt Lake Temple, but I guess I was wrong.


I got to go to the Sunday morning session of General Conference with my entire family. While I was there, I got to see my old EFY councilor. It really was wonderful.

I'm sure you can't tell, but in the bottom corner of this picture, there is a Prophet of God. 

This isn't home.

At least, not yet.

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