I was pretty much the most homesick I've been since I moved here, and that is saying something.
All I could really do was cry, and just stay in my room.
The worst part is that nothing really triggered it. Nothing is really going on in my life to cause it, and for that matter this has been pretty much the most average week I can think of. I was just overwhelmed with this huge nostalgia for where I used to live all at once.
Anyway, I opted to stay home today, and try to feel better.
I guess that I thought that after 5 months of living here, this type of homesickness would go away. Seriously, I have lived here for almost half a year, and I get more homesick then I have since I moved here. I just wished I knew why.
Well, I really hope this is some sort of trigger moment for me to finally feel settled here. Maybe a changing point for how I think and feel. I really want to take this moment and make it something great. I'm so sick of being sad.
So here it is,
End of Chapter Sixteen: Page Turning
Who I am, Where I live
5 Months Later. So where am I? The photo above is from the Viewmont - Davis Football game, which happened to be the very first night I moved to Utah. That very first day is when my parents took me to my new school, got me all enrolled in classes, I got my tour of the school, and went to the school assembly. I went to my English, French and Seminary classes that day, and met some great people. After school, I was invited to the swing club pool party, and then to this football game. That night I went to where I was staying, with my dad's boss' parents.
As freaky as it all was, it was thrilling. I wanted so badly to say no to the offer to go hang out with those kids. Hey, it was my very first day in Utah, where I literally knew no one in the state. But I didn't. I accepted despite all internal protests that I had, and I had a blast.
The following Tuesday I was invited to go to the Temple with these new friends. I was so glad that my family had intended on doing baptisms as a family in the Raleigh Temple earlier that summer. Although we never got the chance to go, I now had my own limited Temple Recommend, and I was able to go to the Temple with my new friends.
5 months later. Where am I?
Well I am a Carolina boy through and through. I really don't think anything will ever change that in me. I'll probably always be biased as to which is the best state, and the best place to live. I'll probably still love cheerwine too.
But I am very, very different from the person who went to that football game back in August. I know so much more about my self then I ever did before. I believe so much more in my personal ability to do just about anything. I became able to appreciate so much more of the place that I used to live. I feel that I have progressed so much in so little time.
I feel so blessed. So incredibly blessed. In so many ways.
On July 26th, I was out at Staples in Clemmons looking to buy some stationary to write letters on. While strolling through the isles, I came across a little gray journal. I haven't been able to keep a journal for more than a week, and that was back when I was 8 years old. But for some reason, I bought it. I took it home that night, and I began to write. That first night, I wrote,
"I know That my Heavenly Father lives, and that he loves me.
-To be honest, I am not entirely sure who I am. I know I am the Son of Cheryl and Nelson Sebright, and brother of Albert, Catherine and Megan Sebright. I know I am a noble son of God, I know I have a very good life. But who am I?
-I really hope this Journal helps me find out."
Exactly one month after I began that journal, I was sitting in bed, after coming home from the football game.
I honestly believe that I was Divinely prepared for this change. Actually, I know it, with no doubt in my mind.
I can do this.
He knows I can.
And that is something that will never change.