31 August 2012

I Am Ready

As a note: I have only written a total of 4 blog posts this summer. This will be number 5. Honestly, I'm a little appalled that with this being by far my busiest and most fulfilling summer yet, I have written about it the least. 


“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

I think I am approaching the point in my life where I can see what my immediate purpose is. I believe very strongly that my Father in Heaven put me here for a reason, and that everything happens for a reason. 
Why I am I in Centerville, Utah?
After much personal thought and prayers, and having some truly beautiful discussions with my friends, both old and new, I think I've come closer to an answer than I have ever before.
I think that I am to be the change that I wish to see in the world.
Maybe that is a principle that should be universal, and I believe it is. However, I think in my specific circumstance, it is the primary reason for why I am where I am today.


In other news, I went with my family to the Brigham City LDS Temple open house yesterday! I enjoyed it very much, both from a religious perspective and an architectural one.

I am also working (maybe not as hard as I should be) on my AP summer reading list. While it is only two books, between work, a massive month long vacation and visiting family, I haven't had much time to work on it. Consequently, I am trying to make progress on getting through these books. In order to do so, I have taken my studies outside, into my backyard. I set up my litter reading chair in a nook between bushes, and began to read and type. 


It actually has a rather nice view! The greenery is so very comforting.

I love each and everyone of you. And that, I honestly believe, is my sole and only purpose to be here. To learn to love each and everyone of you as unconditionally as possible.

Good night, and toodles!



17 August 2012

For the First Time

In a very long time, I can truly, honestly and sincerely say that I am happy. In nearly every aspect. 


In the past month, I have traveled more than I ever have before in my life. On July 31st, I traveled 2,384 miles, from Greensboro, North Carolina to Victorville, California. In the period of just a few weeks, I was in the states of North Carolina, Virginia, Georgia, Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California. I traveled several city down towns, I walked through half a dozen woods, I played in 3 creeks, traveled over 5 rivers, spanned 4 time zones, played in one ocean, saw one sister get married, attended EFY for my last time, and rode 4 different airplanes. 

And I became a different person.


I can't even begin to describe this transformation. In retrospect, I think I changed far more internally than I first realized while it was happening. 
My capacity to love and understand has increased. Questions have been answered, in ways that I still don't understand. 
I am different. Yet, I am me.


And here, in just a few weeks, school is going to start up again. This time, it will be my last, as I will be a senior. I'm very exited to start my senior year classes, get involved in debate, apply to colleges, work hard and decided how I am going to launch myself into the real world after high school.

I am honestly dumbfounded when I look back to when I first moved to Utah. I can't even fathom what my reaction would have been if I could have seen who I'll become. Or how happy I am.


Because above all else, that's what I am right now. 

Happy.

There is still plenty that is troublesome and unresolved in my life. I have so many questions, about the my future in regards to relationships, schools, classes, residence and a whole score of other topics. My life feels just as uncertain as it did before. But I am happy. I don't feel burdened by my lack of knowledge. Rather, I feel almost glad that because I am so unsure about my future, it must mean that I have all the more options to come. 


Here I am again. 

The Page is Turning. 

My life is again about to start a new chapter. Although this one is a little scarier. This is the last one that has been outlined before hand. After this chapter, it really is up to me to write what happens next. 

Honestly, just typing those words terrifies me. I'm 17. What on earth do I know about making my way through the realities of life? How can a 17 year old make such big decisions that will have such a lasting impact?


Yet after all of that, I am so freaking exited.

I have this amazing excitement to get on with my life and forge ahead at full speed to make my life all that it can be. 

And I guess that is why I am so happy. 
My life is up to me. 
And I am going to make the most of it.


So here it goes!

I'll make the most of my senior year, 
I'll forge ahead to do what I was meant to do.
I'll make everything that I need to create, 
and I'll write about it every step of the way.
I am becoming, 
I am creating.
I am persisting,
and I am learning
of who I am, and what my course is to be.
Above all else, I've learned to trust
in the single truth that I constantly overlook. 

I am me.