17 August 2012

For the First Time

In a very long time, I can truly, honestly and sincerely say that I am happy. In nearly every aspect. 

In the past month, I have traveled more than I ever have before in my life. On July 31st, I traveled 2,384 miles, from Greensboro, North Carolina to Victorville, California. In the period of just a few weeks, I was in the states of North Carolina, Virginia, Georgia, Utah, Arizona, Nevada and California. I traveled several city down towns, I walked through half a dozen woods, I played in 3 creeks, traveled over 5 rivers, spanned 4 time zones, played in one ocean, saw one sister get married, attended EFY for my last time, and rode 4 different airplanes. 

And I became a different person.

I can't even begin to describe this transformation. In retrospect, I think I changed far more internally than I first realized while it was happening. 
My capacity to love and understand has increased. Questions have been answered, in ways that I still don't understand. 
I am different. Yet, I am me.

And here, in just a few weeks, school is going to start up again. This time, it will be my last, as I will be a senior. I'm very exited to start my senior year classes, get involved in debate, apply to colleges, work hard and decided how I am going to launch myself into the real world after high school.

I am honestly dumbfounded when I look back to when I first moved to Utah. I can't even fathom what my reaction would have been if I could have seen who I'll become. Or how happy I am.

Because above all else, that's what I am right now. 


There is still plenty that is troublesome and unresolved in my life. I have so many questions, about the my future in regards to relationships, schools, classes, residence and a whole score of other topics. My life feels just as uncertain as it did before. But I am happy. I don't feel burdened by my lack of knowledge. Rather, I feel almost glad that because I am so unsure about my future, it must mean that I have all the more options to come. 

Here I am again. 

The Page is Turning. 

My life is again about to start a new chapter. Although this one is a little scarier. This is the last one that has been outlined before hand. After this chapter, it really is up to me to write what happens next. 

Honestly, just typing those words terrifies me. I'm 17. What on earth do I know about making my way through the realities of life? How can a 17 year old make such big decisions that will have such a lasting impact?

Yet after all of that, I am so freaking exited.

I have this amazing excitement to get on with my life and forge ahead at full speed to make my life all that it can be. 

And I guess that is why I am so happy. 
My life is up to me. 
And I am going to make the most of it.

So here it goes!

I'll make the most of my senior year, 
I'll forge ahead to do what I was meant to do.
I'll make everything that I need to create, 
and I'll write about it every step of the way.
I am becoming, 
I am creating.
I am persisting,
and I am learning
of who I am, and what my course is to be.
Above all else, I've learned to trust
in the single truth that I constantly overlook. 

I am me.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, that was just plain inspiring! I need to start thinking that way more often! You are amazing! :)